there will come a time when you feel your ready angel...
just stop beating up on yourself about it..that just make things harder.
also maybe keeping out of touch with your dad may be a good idea.. i stopped talking to my buggerd up family last nov. im now just getting to a point that i may be able to live with out them..
are you on any medication? might help with the depression. you just need a little boost and stop listening to your dad
take care
E