[dmajor7th]

I just wanted to talk a little more about what I meant about positive statements. This is very important. I'll give you an example. A couple of months ago my father told me "If you'd shut your mouth and stop complaining, you'd be more attractive." Now, where there is truth to what he's saying, it didn't help. I know he was trying to help-or at least thought he was. All this did was reinforce my feelings of not being good enough, of being defective. It made me feel shame. Both my mother and father do things like this. It hurts my feelings. Borderlines are extremely sensitive-they hurt very easily. A positive statement of what my father was trying to say could be something like " You are a smart woman, if you focused your energies on positive thinking and actions, you could really do well." Or something like that. I know with my parents-even though I know they mean well, when I get my feelings hurt-I don't want to be around them and I don't trust them.