Shaming your parents for what they did in the past will not accomplish much, other than you releasing some anger/frustration. However, it is your responsibility to work on yourself and/or your marriage. Blaming your parents now is not going to change the fact that your marriage is struggling.
Maybe, you could tell them how you feel about your fathers drinking, and then detach yourself for a while, without announcing that you plan to sever all contact?
Please remember that the p's arent going to be able to fix this one-even if they wanted to. Your learned behaviors need to be changed, and as sucky as it is, thats all on you. Im not saying you dont have a right to your anger. Of course you do. But, you need to work through it (with a therapist?) not throw it back on your p's.
Check this out:
"We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too."
"We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
"We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldnt treat sick people that way."
-AA Big Book, 4th edition. pp 66-67.
Good luck to you...
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