[journeygal]

Hi Tassle and welcome.

I agree with JT about the intervention speech. Your parents have lived their entire lives stuck in addiction and codependency. They will not understand where you are coming from and you won't receive the validation you seek. They did not mess up your life. Their behaviors may have instilled unhealthy patterns of relating to people in you, but they were doing the best they knew how to do. It is up to you to change your life and to recognize the issues that need addressing within yourself, but making a big speech to your parents and assigning blame isn't going to help.

Acceptance and forgiveness of the past is they key to moving forward. Taking responsibility for your own recovery and happiness is also extremely important. You have to want to change for you, not to try to save your marriage, although that is a very good motivator. My life changed when I got rid of all the people, places, and situations I used as excuses for being stuck where I was. That's not to say I stoppped talking to my parents or my husband, but recovery is a solo venture and I had to detach myself a bit from the world until I made the necessary changes within me.

Take care and good luck on your journey.

Hugs,
JG