Thread: Sanity tips
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Old 03-12-2016, 05:14 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Kata
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Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: Canada
Posts: 235
Healthyagain,

What is preventing me to cut ties? It is something I am actively trying to define and working on with my therapist. As I've said, the logical/intellectual process has been done, and is still being done. Intellectually, I know that I need to cut off all ties with him. It's emotionnaly that I have a problem. I have recently been through a few difficult and unpleseant therapy sessions. But I keep on going as I know it is something I need figure out and work on.

As many have said, this is a process. Now, two days ago I was finally able to say no to him when I didn't feel comfortable with what he had ask. Yesterday, it took me everything I had to tell him, somewhat calmly, that what his comment about the f*&?&* muffin wasn't necessary, wish him a good evening and just leave him there on a street corner. For me, that is a lot of progess. It's not something I would've done 2 months ago.

As for this particular thread here, it was more about "how do you do you?". I've always put the needs of others before my own. As I've always been afraid to do many things for fear of being judged, of not being good enough. So, for a while now, I've been learning to put myself first, I've discovered things and activity that help me focus on myself, gain confidence and discover what I'm made of. And yes, I also use these activities and strategies to help me not engage with my ABF when the insanity comes up. I was merely sharing the things that help me in my process, that make me feel good about myself and that offer me some comfort during periods of stress and anxiety. I was wondering what others do to focus on themselves, what helps them feel good and self-confident, as I thought I could learn something from it. I'm sure someone does something that I've never thought of doing that could end up putting a smile on my face in times of need.

Dumping my ABF for good doesn't mean that, from time to time, I won't feel the need to do something to gain more confidence, to relieve stress and anxiety, or that I won't want to keep working on myself.
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