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Originally Posted by Andygirl My question is, how long were you in sobriety before you felt comfortable having sex? I figure I've been altered every time my fiance and I have been together. We have always had an awesome sex life, and when we do it now, it's still pretty good.
But, I don't have the desire like I did before. I hope it's just something to do with the newness of recovery. When we do it, I feel self-conscious and I just want to get to business and not mess around with a bunch of kissing and other crap.
Has anyone else gone through this? I really find it odd. I've always had a high sex drive and an incredibly high self-esteem. I look good, and I feel good, so what's the problem here? I want to keep him satisfied, but there are times when I just can't be bothered with it. |
I was sober for a very long time before having sex was good for me and something I sought. I was celebate before getting sober...got married had a kid got divorced and, was celebate for several years after.
I do not think it would be uncommon when one quits using drugs or alcohol for priorities to change. If having sex was a part of your addictive pattern and now you are seeking to change the patterns of your relating to others I would think that having sex might not give you the same kind of charge that it once did.
As you learn more about your sober self and what you really want you might find that your sex life gets even better. I would also like to suggest that you talk openly to your partner about your feelings if you have not already and make sure he knows that you are going thru changes and that you still love him and want to make sure he does not feel unloved or unwanted. Commuication helps make a relationship better.