| I let it go!!!!
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Well, I finally came to the realization that I can't change what my recovering AH did in the past and neither can he. I told him we could starting over, fresh and this was day one of our marriage. I told him what I needed in order to stay in a marriage with him, we wrote it down and he took the copy??? He in turn couldn't tell me what he needed, but that is understandable since I don't think he knows right now anyway.
I told him I will let the past go, and concentrate on today. I also made it CLEAR that infidelity is a MARRIAGE BUSTER without question. I also told him I would hope someday he would TRUST ME enough to be able to talk with me about anything.
I decided he has to live with the guilt of what he did and I don't. I live with the hurt, but I can deal with it or live in it. I have been living in it for almost six months and it sucks so I am moving away from it. I will work on forgiveness as my Lord requests. I will ask God daily to give me the strength to forgive and He will. I will also pray for my husband daily, for him to learn honesty, for him to remain sober, for him to respect his marriage vows and for him to grow and become the person I know he wants to be.
I will return to Al anon and my after care program and stop cutting off my nose to spite my face.
Everyone tells me it will get better, I pray it does and would be gratefull if you all would pray for both of us. We will need all the prayers we can get.
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