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Hey Hyperman -
Sorry I haven't gotten to this before now. I'm way behind in responding to posts on this site - that's what being away for weeks will do to a Guy.
I wanted make an observation that may seem to be coming way out in left field. But it sounds like you are addressing each of your many health concerns with energy and smarts - conferring with doctors (who are not magicians - they, like the rest of us, make the best 'calls' they can based on their interpretation of the evidence) - and while I know you sometimes feel frustration past the boiling point, you are (it sounds like) dealing with 'reality' in a mostly responsible way.
Now - at the risk of sounding party line - are you going to meetings - i.e., doing anything practical for your emotional and psychic recovery? Have you given the 12 steps a try? Addiction is a disease of the attitudes as much as it's anything else. Doing anything you can to put a breath of air between you and your 'urgencies' - well, all I can tell you is: it sure has helped me. Maybe make meetings - and contact with friends and a sponsor met at these meetings - the main dish of your daily menu; in fact, make it pretty much (past breathing, eating and sleeping) your first focus. A lot will improve thereby. One promise of recovery - that we'll intuitively know how to handle what used to baffle us (including your approach to physical problems) will start to come true if you let it.
best to you -
Guy
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