[True Blue]

Oh my it is good to be back on-line and able to talk to people just like me.

I quit going to meetings in Nov. My sponser moved out of state and I did not feel right anymore being the only women there. We started having a lot of strange ones coming to the meetings. And I was tired of having to make the coffee and clean up after all of them. LOL (just joking here.)

In Nov after my little lost week-end I started really thinking about my life.
The humilation and shame I felt back in Sept. 2003. I never ever want go back to that way of non-living. Dang we make a mess of our life when we are in active addiction. It feels so good to be able to look at people in the eye again.

You know I keep thinking back at all the demons I was running from. And how they keep chasing me, until I fianlly stoped and faced them head on. They were not as bad as my head made them out to be. Funny how the old head works.

This past Jan. I was asked to sit with a 96 year old women who was dying in the hospital. She had no family her only son died when he was 12 years old. Any way being with this beautful old women touched me so much. I felt as though I was in the pressence of God her last few days on earth.

2 weeks later I was asked to go to work for a local merchant who knew all about my drug addiction and stealing from my dear friend and former boss. My new boss told me that God told her to hire me. She is a very spirtual person. I think being with the old lady and getting my job are connected.

Thank you all for letting me share. I hope and pray that if you are fighting to win your addiction that you will be able to face youself and win the battle.

Facing oneself I think was the hardest thing.

Just another addict with her armor on. God Bless you all.