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When I had just two weeks in recovery, I saw a lady I thought would be a good sponsor for me. I went to her and asked for her phone number. She gave it to me. I offered to give her mine. She said, "If you want what I have, call me. I don't want what you have, so I don't need your phone number." That darned near reduced me to tears. But I wanted sobriety so bad that I didn't let that turn me away. I even had to admit to myself that what she'd said did make sense.
I was taught that it's not my sponsor's job to babysit me. My sponsor agreed to share experience, strength and hope with me, provided I want it enough to ask. She didn't agree to adopt me when she agreed to be my sponsor. She's not going to baby me through anything. She didn't sign on to being my best buddy and pal, either. She just agreed to help me to the best of her ability with any problem I came to her with by sharing what had happened to her, what she did about it, and what it's like for her now. "If you want what I have, you call me." That's the way I was taught that it works and that's what I teach the women I've sponsored.
A sponsor is the most caring, loving person I know. But if they were to chase after me every time I fell out or every time I had a spiritual temper tantrum, she'd be enabling me to stay sick. Thankfully, I haven't had a sponsor like that.
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