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Originally Posted by spedteach He is making an appointment today with his drs to get back on meds and hopefully into counseling. Given his childhood traumas, it's amazing he can function and I must note, he's a WONDERFUL dad and husband when he's not in his depression.
From those of you that have been in his shoes, what can I do to help him? I want to be supportive of him, but I don't want to over do it and be too pushy..
Thanks in advance! |
I think he is headed in the right direction, but he will need your support now more than ever. I think it is very important that he get back on medication AND seek therapy. It has been proven in a number of studies that medication + therapy is more effective, especially in cases of MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) I think one of the most important areas he needs to work on (in therapy) is his coping techniques. His prior methods (alcohol, avoidance) have caused problems and are detrimental in the long term. I also think that therapy might open up the door for some of his deeper issues (the trauma you alluded to).
Depression can silently cripple an otherwise happy and healthy person. One of the largest problems involving depression is the stigma that some people still attach to it. Having a boss who understands some of the associated issues/consequences of depression, is definately a good thing. (Many times this understanding is not present in the workplace.)
Another problem with depression is the inexact nature with which the depression functions. Everything works on a sliding scale and not in easily definable measures. Your husband probably has a hard time expressing how he is feeling, and it is frustrating. Education is one of the best ways to get a better perspective on the condition and the related feelings.
I think your husband will be looking to 'get back to normal'. One pitfall to watch out for is his 'initial recovery' because of getting back on the medication. He might want to skip out on the therapy.....but with what I have read, he really would benefit from it. Medication can really be a life-saver to people who suffer from MDD, however there are still issues that must be dealt with once you clear the fog of the depression. (this is where therapy comes in)
I think the best course of action is as follows:
1. Be there (he will need support...even if he doesn't show it at first)
2. Educate. Information is power. (You both have a new hobby....learning as much as your can about depression)
3. Understand that he won't magically recover over night. It is a marathon and not a sprint.
4. Don't ignore yourself. Many times people with throw themselves into their partner's recovery. You need to be present, but not at the cost of yourself. Some things your husband must tackle on his own. He may not be comfortable talking about everything with you, but it is important that you are available, ESPECIALLY when he wants to talk.
Please let us know how it goes! Also, take a look around SR, because there are some great resources available (both members and previous posts)
-pedagogue