[wingsfree]

Just got back from a meeting, last time was about a year ago, so it was real hard walking in again, I never gave it enough time that last time I went, got to sure of myself.

I've been really emotional since I got hurt, and figured I would never ever drink again, shows how much I know. Walking through those doors feeling that way made it hard for me to speak, but I did with so much encouragement from the gang there, I started to cry, oh darn I hate that, grrrrr, and wasn't going to talk anymore, but they got me to. I told them what's going on with my family, their feelings on it....funny how it's sooooo hard for some of us to put ourselves first, I honestly think I don't have that in me to do.

After the meeting one of the men who was celebrating 6 years tonight, I thought that was so great, he came and talked to me, told me not to worry about my family, just do what I need to do, and I'll be surprised what they learn from me, so I felt a lot better after he talked to me, a couple others had some good comments also....was a pretty good meeting.

Gets home hubby calls from work, asked where I had been, I told him I was at a meeting which I mentioned to him before.....so his voice changes and he says to me.....SO YOU GOT SAVED DID YOU?....I felt myself sink, felt so bad, still do. I told him I need to be there, I can't drink anymore. Felt like the rug got pulled from under my feet again. I'm so happy that man came and talked to me, he's right with what he said, I need all the strength I can muster with this, real scared the truth be told, I don't want to drink anymore. Going to another meeting tomorrow night, feeling not so good about it, I know once I'm there it will be better, three people are celebrating there years of sobriety, I'm so happy I can be there to congratulate them.

Thanks for listening to me, just a vent here, no need to reply, maybe this might help someone else who may be having probs with family members on this issue.