SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post

Time2Surrender · 03-23-2005, 02:16 AM

Removing A Gerbil

There just isn't any way to describe this.

"In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Thomaszweski told doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of the Salt Lake City Hospital. He and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained.

"As usual Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough, I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Thomaszweski hair and severly burnig his face.

It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball. Thomaszweski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose for the impact of the gerbil, while Mr. Farnum suffered first degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.

03-23-2005, 02:16 AM	#1 (permalink)
Time2Surrender Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Washington State Posts: 7,263 Blog Entries: 7	Removing a Gerbil Removing A Gerbil There just isn't any way to describe this. "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only trying to retrieve the gerbil," Eric Thomaszweski told doctors in the Severe Burns Unit of the Salt Lake City Hospital. He and his homosexual partner Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. "I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that he'd had enough, I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out again, so I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what happened next. The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the tube, igniting Mr. Thomaszweski hair and severly burnig his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out like a cannonball. Thomaszweski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose for the impact of the gerbil, while Mr. Farnum suffered first degree burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract.