I read your letter and it pains me - you see, I am that wife, too. My husband did drink and drive and totalled the cute little sports car that he just had to have. I just thank God that he only hurt himself and no one else. God's hand is on that man and I know it but I just couldn't let him come home from the hospital to our home. I just could not take it any more - after 25 years of marriage and last being the most hideous, I am depleted. So, here is a 56 year old man living with his parents and refusing to take responsibility for anything. He started looking for another woman 3 days after he left the hospital and I am in the home, purging of meaningless 'stuff', trying to hold on to the mortgage until we can sell it. We adopted a wonderful boy later on in life and I have that little soul to worry about and try to find the best place for us to go. Right now, all I want is for him to stay in the same school until he graduates. We will give up a beautiful home for a teeny, tiny little place - but it will be ours without pain and worry and abuse. I am so hurt and confused and really wished that I had not stuck by him for so long. It did nothing for our family but I couldn't walk away. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and always want to make things right. I went to counselling and have done a lot of work on me and I am proud of where I stand. I'm just scared and that sucks when you have a 13 year old looking up to you to take care of all the wrongs of the world but I am trying to be strong. Some days, like today, when my son is out playing, I call my girlfriend and cry and cry - feeling like the biggest loser in the world. Most days, though, I put one foot in front of the other and move on. I just don't know when it will become easier.