I actually shared this observation with my husband today while we were hiking with the kids.
I told him that when he was actively drinking and did things with us, it was more stressful for me. I felt that he was always thinking of other things (beer and whiskey) and even though he was going through the motions of family times, it was not sincere.
Since he has started his journey into sobriety, the difference in our family time is startling. He said today that he was going to take the kids to the park and I realized that I WANTED to go, I WANTED to spend time with him, it is MORE fun when we are all together.
I feel that he has always loved us , however now that he is not drinking, he is really present with us. It is very nice.
So, I shared all of this with him and he just looked at me and said "Really, I had no idea that you didn't want to spend time with me before". DOH!
Jenny