O lordy yes! It is just manipulation and denial. You have to come to a mental point that you see this as part of their issue, because it is. Once I realized that it would NEVER change, no matter who my XAH is with or anything else, I was ok. Frustrated, but ok.
They are unable to accept they cause their own problems in their lives. It is a chronic issue with alcoholics. I am not sure which comes first, the chicken or the egg. Are they manipulators before they become alcoholics ( my answer is usually yes ) or after. Either way, it does not matter, that is what they have become.
Stay upbeat and move on with your life dear girl. You deserve more. Keep your cup always half full, not half empty and keep moving forward!