Old 03-11-2005, 01:11 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Sarie773
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Nampa, Idaho
Posts: 1
Exclamation SOMEONE PLEASE HELP......Father is dying.

I dont know where to begin. I really need some help and have no where to turn. I am hurting so deeply and no one seems to understand.
My father...alcoholic since age 16. Wonderful man....very attractive man. Many many talents, and a beautiful voice. The father of 3 girls and two sons. Married and divorced 3 times. A rollercoaster life for all involved, especially his first born daughter.....me. I have endured much with my father. Many heart aches and heart breaks and so much more in between. I was 5 when my parents divoced. I sufferend much visual and emotional abuse in my short five years with my Father in our home....much of which I dont remember. I then became a "little mother" and helped my mother raise my baby sisters while she was in an emotional mess. I have had countless suicidal phone conversations with my father....which all started around the 6th grade, on mornings before I went to school. Some days were good with him, and then there would be months of nothing.....and then something, and then nothing...and then a suicidal time, and then nothing.....ect. I always loved him. Never gave up on him. I helped and counceled him through things I shouldnt have even known about. But I did. One week away from giving birth to my second child, 6 years ago.....my youngest sister (then 14) accused my father of sexually abusing her. She went to the police and it was a mess. I was heartbroken and shocked. My sister was EVER convincing and I saw the hurt in her eyes! I was disowned by my father and his family ( I was so close with). 5 devistating years went by....I thought of him often and my heart ached deeply. On the day after Christmas 2004, my sister told the truth. SHE HAD LIED ABOUT THE ENTIRE SEXUAL ACCUSATION!!! My father had not done this to her.....she could only say that she did it because she wanted him out of our lives so he couldnt hurt us anymore....she was only 14 years old. So now....I have tried to put the pieces back together. One by one, they seem to be coming back. I am now reunited with my grandparents and my father. We talk almost everyday. I love him deeply and have resentment for the years I missed with him. (although he causes so much strain on life).
For 5 years.....my father drank himself almost to death. Very very heavily. Since the truth was told and my father forgave my sister....his health is not good. He is suffering physically and mentally. He is trying so hard to get back to where he was before....which brings me to now...........

Last night we recieved news that my father is dying.....something I have been quite aware of for some time now....but so hard to hear it. He has blood work and a uranalisis done on Wednesday (it took 1 1/2 years to get him to a doctor and he was drunk and actually had a drink in his hands when he arrived at the office).
Most likely this is what is going on with him
Doctor said his liver is failing and is completly inflamed
both kindneys are shot
most likely lung disease
totally dehydrated and malnurished
nerve damage
they havent even x-rayed him at this point.......

His plan is to stay away from the hospital, although the doctors and everyone around him wants him there NOW! He wants the drug librium.....and wants to get off the alcohol now....and then he wants to get a second oppinion!

I am devistated! My father lives 8 hours away from me and I just want to get to him! I am confused and very frustrated! With all these symotoms, can anyone survive this????? He is acting like he'll just "get better"! I know he is in denial.......
Can someone, ANYONE help me??! What do these results tell me?
PLease help!
thank you for reading and listening!!!
sincerely
Sarah
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