[Moontime]

Wow, since last night I've felt, sadness, pain, joy and working on acceptance. I've cried today like I haven't cried in over a year of being in recovery. Tears coming out is less pain coming in. My tears though have been of joy, sadness, and indifference. I saw my ex-girlfriend last night, we had dated for 9+ years until about 2 years ago, when my drug addiction had me in the grips. I mend amends to her a couple of months ago, but hadn't seen or talk to her since. Last night at a concert, she happened to be there and we talked. She told me she was so happy to see me happy and enjoying life. She knew that I was a nice guy/sweet/caring guy that she fell in love with. But, my disease progressed so much that I kept her hostage for so many years. She started getting emotional, as I am right now typing this. She reads my amends letter time to time and it has really makes her proud how much I've changed. The shame/guilt that I've caused her is still with me, which just for today I don't pick up because of the shame/guilt that I caused all my close friends/family/myself. I know I've changed but to see someone who I have known for a 3rd of my life, tell me and get emotional was very emotional for me too. She told me she loved me and to keep staying in the light. A reading a few days ago talked about how we have difficulty dealing with success, that is so true. I have difficulty knowing that I'm living the life my Higher Power had in store for me. I can honestly say that the feelings I had last night were one as a brother/sister relationship, and I feel good about that.