I have a friend who sometimes lurks on here, I'll see if she can get online. We are both addicts. She was in your shoes, we kept telling her to have faith that her HP has something better for her. That with one door closing another one will open that will be beyond her wildest dreams. Well, she kept doing the footwork, came to meetings, worked steps, prayed, talked to her sponsor, fellowship.......again, and again, and again......Now, she has a wonderful job that she wouldn't have if she was still in the RN buisness (this was the only life she knew), she tooks risks without having that license and her HP did have something better for her. It's all about having faith that no matter what happens, your HP has a plan you just need to keep doing the footwork.