The liquor section holds nothing for you other than misery and a dark pit of despair. You've already traveled that road. You Do NOT want to go back there.
We all have hard times and get to feeling low. That is when we need to bolster ourselves and cling to our faith and all the things we have learned from the past. Please don't give in. Throw yourself into your recovery and this difficult time will pass. They always do. The more you deny the addictive voice, the fainter it will become and the longer it will stay away.
Keep going! You have a year and a half invested. You're doing great! (((HUGS)))