As 'belle said, there's no such thing as a "little bit alcoholic". One either is or isn't, and it's up to the drinker to decide on the diagnosis.
For you and those concerned about his possible problem, this link will help you find Al-Anon meetings:
http://alanon.org/meetings/california.html
They offer information, compassion, support and a safe environment to find some answers.
Alcoholism is a family disease, affecting more than just the drinker (as you prob'ly already know). As for "What should we do first?", you might consider doing as they say on airplanes: put the oxygen mask on yourself
first before attempting to help those around you. In my experience, this seems to work best.
I wish you peace...