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Hi Pete
I can remember pacing the room for hours..... I mean hours fighting the battle in my head. I just wanted to drink so badly but I knew I shouldn't. The doctor said I shouldn't, my friends, my family said I shouldn't, even I said time and time again for years and years that I shouldn't. But I always did.
That constant defeat by the booze ground me further and further down. My self esteem and self belief had disappeared. I thought I was an idiot, a fool, useless .... why can't I stop when I really want to stop.?? I thought I could reason my way sober.
Well now I know different. I use AA and it's working for me in a way I never thought possible. It didn't at first. But I kept going back and now things are changing. I no longer pace the room and to tell you the truth, and I never would have believed this at first, today, and for a fair few days now, I don't want a drink. I've no idea what tomorrow will bring, but today I'm OK.
Give it another go Pete. Accepting that I couldn't do this on my own and letting other people and other ideas into my life was the start for me. Keep going back mate, it really does "Work if you work it".
much love
JC
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