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Originally Posted by icecream pete Hi,
I was gonna have a whine about stuff, AA not working, bad choice of sponsor etc etc etc, but the truth is I cant seem to stop drinking. It is so engrained in what I am and what I do, no matter how I rationalise it or look at the sheer stupidity of it, I just go and do it again and again and again.
Each day I start anew, enough, no more only to stumble at the first hurdle. I want to be normal, but clearly not enough. I am like two people, me and the boozer and the boozer always wins no matter how I try.
I am so tired of this constant battle, one sided tho it is.
I know that I cant win, I just want to stop drinking, for good.but wanting it is not enough it seems.
I really could use some help
Pete |
Hi Pete
Thanks for your share. I appreciated it. I felt tired after reading it because it reminded me of how hopeless I felt at the end of my drinking. I thought it was admirable that whilst expressing some disatisfaction with AA you also claimed responsibilty for the act of drinking. There is no reason why both views can't both be valid.
There is a variety of support out there, and as nice as people are to me, it begins or ends with My arm picking up or not picking up the first drink. And it will be down to me to explore the options.
There's plenty of views, opinions around (inc. mine), but none of the people holding them can do it for you. If you make it, in my view, it will have been as a result of your own efforts. Within this, I also mean the effort involved in seeking help.
I thought your post was honest.
regards
Andy F