bobmatic, It seems you have a much deeper understanding of this disease and how powerful it is, and a deeper compassion for other addicts as a result of your relapse. As you talk about your relapse with other recovering addicts, the feelings of acceptance for others going through the same thing will probably be a spiritual experience. It is humbling to "start over" but we work the steps for as long as we are addicts. Lifelong. Lots of spiritual experiences to come! Glad you are back!