Welcome to SR eJohn18......although I am so very sorry for what brings you here. Being the mother of an addict is very different from being the wife of an addict (I've been in both positions.....). It is confusing and heartbreaking.
I would gently suggest what others have suggested above......consider counseling and/or Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, or some form of support for you. Why? Because addiction is a cunning and baffling disease and it is often counterintuitive.....particularly for a parent.
There are ways that you can help your son....there are also things we do as parents that can be very detrimental for an addict. Understanding these things would be helpful to your son and to you.
I tried to help my son for a very long time.....I sacrificed some very healthy relationships for one unhealthy one. Eventually I had to change myself because my son's addiction was taking me down with him.
Sometimes visuals help me......
When someone is digging a hole and they are down there deep, it's ok to throw them a rope and encourage them to climb out. Unfortunately what I did was crawl down in that hole and put my son on my back and tried to haul him out. It didn't work. And both of us became trapped down in that hole. I eventually had to crawl out and learn how to stand at the top and encourage him to climb the rope himself.
I do understand how it hurts to see your son addicted. It's so encouraging that he wants help and I hope and pray that he will do well. I also hope that you will stick around here. Some folks may say things you can't handle right now....that's ok.....take what you need and leave to rest (or store it as you may need it later). There are many, many mothers here on SR.....we understand......we'll walk with you.
You are not alone.
gentle hugs
ke