From my experience ~ writing things down was awesome - FOR ME ~
That's why I started a journal ~ I grew up in a home where you were not allowed to express your thoughts, feelings or opinions. Well not in a healthy respectful way ~ you could share if you were screaming, yelling and throwing things at each other ~ I carried that mindset with me into an alcoholic/addict marriage ~
Journaling helped me process my thoughts & feelings and learn how to give my fear courage to be spoken. Then through AL-Anon & my SR family - I learned how to communicate these opinions to others in a healthy respectful way - allowing myself and others to keep their dignity.
I learned to say to my now exah ~ It is apparent that at this time you are not at your healthiest. We both know that no one wants any harm to happen to our grandchildren, so I believe it is the best interest of everyone that they ride in the vehicle with me at all times. If & when a change is made, then we can address this again.
and things like: For my peace of mind and well being, I have decided I feel safer if I take my own vehicle to the party, family function, meeting, etc. ~ I'll meet you there.
He would try to argue - "you think I'm using again, I'm not taking anything, I'm not drinking" I would say "I didn't say that you were, I am making these decisions soley on what is best for me."
I learned it was not about accusing him of using or drinking ~ on the inside he was already beating himself up, lying to himself and so many others ~
It becomes about you and your children . . .
So keep writing, keep giving your thoughts a place to be heard ~ time and your inner strength and HP will let you know when it is time to share and what to share with your AH.
wishing you the best
pink hugs