This letter is full of "you's". You do this, you must do that. With all due respect, its a nice letter - for yourself. But for him...ACTION, not words. He's a man. Speak to him in his language and he may be more likely to understand.
Secondly, let me ask what is your point with this? If its to get him to "change", how do you think this will help?
I don't want to sound negative here, but you are dealing with an addiction that is more powerful than he is right now. Have you read Under the Influence? It is a good book to begin your education on alcoholism, and I believe once you have a better understanding of what you are up against, letters like these won't seem like a effective way of dealing with the communication issue. Because Katchie, you need to clearly accept he can't hear you right now. The addiction speaks far more loudly than your words, however eloquent.