[CAPTAINZING2000]

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man
was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to
him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that
the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.
He wondered where the road was leading them. After a
while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one
side of the road.

It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill
it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the
sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a
magnificent gate in the arch that looked like Mother
of Pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked
like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate,
and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one
side. When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse
me, where are we?"

"This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man
asked. Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have
some ice water brought right up." The man gestured,
and the gate began to open. "Can my friend," gesturing
toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveller asked.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets." The man
thought a moment and then turned back toward the road
and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another
long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a
farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.
There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw
a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a
book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any
water?"

"Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there". The man
pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside
the gate. "Come on in."

"How about my friend here?" the traveller gestured to
the dog.

"There should be a bowl by the pump." They went
through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old
fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The
traveller filled the bowl and took a long drink
himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were
full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who
was standing by the tree waiting for them.

"What do you call this place?" the traveller asked.
"This is Heaven," he answered. "Well, that's
confusing," the traveller said. "The man down the road
said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and
pearly gates? Nope. That's Hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name
like that?"

"No. I can see how you might think so, but we're just
happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave
their best friends behind."