[CAPTAINZING2000]

PERSONAL ADS

Women Seeking Men

I like driving around with my two cats, especially on
the freeway. I make them wear little hats so that I
can use the carpool lane. Way too much time on your
hands too? Call me. SWF, 42, 5'10", brown/blue.

SWF, 27, obnoxious, silly, pierced, tattooed, insane,
hormonally unbalanced, Rollerblading, sushi-eating,
cartoon-watching redhead from Hell, seeks Vlad.

Don't call me if you are uneducated; unemployed;
unhealthy smoker; felon; under 30 years old, 5'10";
over 40 years old, 6'8", 230 pounds; like cats,
channel surfing; make less than $30,000 annually;
or have body parts pierced. Others feel free.

Men Seeking Women

Fat, flatulent, over-40, cigar-smoking redneck seeks
sexy woman with big hair to cook, clean and pick up
unemployment checks.

Desperate lonely loser, SWM, 32, miserable, apathetic,
tired of watching TV and my roommate's hair fall out.
Seeks depressed, unattractive SWF, 25-32, no sense
of humor, for long talks about the macabre.

Handsome DWM, 40, seeks loving, romantic S/DWF
with round, bulging bubble butt and pretty face with
monogamous intentions, 28-40.

Thick glasses, HP calculator, SAT 99th percentile,
knows pi to 16 digits. Great job, big house, pool.
SWM, 33, 6'0", 144 lbs. Better looking than Bill
Gates.