Old 09-26-2013, 09:42 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
igotthis04
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: fresno
Posts: 1
4 months today (new user don't really know how this works)

short and to the point. i was addicted to prescription pain pills for about 3 yrs. after months and months o being sick, depressed, and overall unhappy i decided that was IT. i traveled to another country w/out the drug in order to give myself no other option than to get clean. i did it alone. 3 weeks of withdrawals, giver or take, then i finally (physically) started to feel better. long story short, today is supposed to be 4 months. now i ****** up 5 times since then, but it wasn't the same. i can go about 2 weeks w/out thinking about it, but the second something gets tough my mind goes back there. now when i "****** up" i did low low low dose compared to what i used to do and it just sucked and i felt like not only a piece of ****, but also a failure. a couple weeks would go by then oh **** it isnt a big deal ill just take one. i need to get that **** out of my head!!! my thing is, how the **** do i not be high and be happy you know? i literally have no more sober endorphins in my body, at least thats what it seems like. any way i just wanna hear some positive stuff because i KNOW im not the only one going through this!!!
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