I am presently watching XAW die of alcoholic starvation and I can't get her to go to the hospital. I think she is scared that will be the end of it so she won't go. I cry every time I see her. It is a nightmare before my very eyes. I am highly disturbed by the end stage stories because she has been so close many times but she always pulls through. I'm just sick about it. We are divorced now, that provides me with some relief but the waiting is killing me. She is 43. It is the most sad thing I can imagine, that someone can't love their own self as much as God and others do.