Overit263: That is great insight and advice. Thank you. But, until he is (or if he ever is) truly committed to vetting better, do I answer the phone or reply to the "nice" texts? Or do I make it a point that I will only be available when he is good and sober for awhile? I do find it very, very hard to wall away, but I want to do what is best for him.
Hammer: He is definitely a drama queen! And he brings that out in me, as well! And no, I don't like the drama. I don't like when he does it and I dont like when I throw it right back. He used to get me very engaged in doing so. I never thought about this. Very interesting point. And what I find most interesting is that he says he hates drama and only calls me the drama queen! He knows how to get me going and hooks me in every time, then blames me for having a strong reaction. Well, he did, but I'm not playing his game anymore. But I guess he is pulling me into his drama, I'm just not reacting the same. I'm sure he hates that. He can't make me the bad guy anymore. Guess that's why he keeps telling me he needs me then tries to pick fights.
I would love to go see his therapist, with him, and give her my side of the story. I don't know what BS be is feeding her. If he's not honest with her, its not going to help as much. But then again, I guess that sucks me in deeper.