Iam---you are completely normal to feel depressed and brave to admit it- you have just made a huge change in your lifestyle and your health is going to need some time to unwind from it - be gentle with yourself give you brain time to heal it will be worth it
Find a sponsor remember the meetings are great but the steps are where the work is done and the sponsor is integral - your sponsor doesn't have to be the same one you have forever - pick one that works for now and I think finding a sponsor is tied to the surrendering thing - ask yourself - why am I not finding a sponsor? What is blocking my way? And then try to remove those blockages
Also have you tried some exercise - even just walking? Check in with your health and diet? Are you feeding your healing body healthy things? If you had just come out of chemo - with a cancer recovery - would you be so hard on yourself for being depressed? Doubtful? But you would if you were just coming out of chemo - take the time make the effort to feed your recovery right?
Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself and if you feel you don't deserve it - then get the steps rolling - and find that sponsor!