i hear you..i havent been nearly as long as you but i still have feelings even after everything that was done to me....and i mean there was so much that if a friend told me what happened i would think hes crazy for still having feeling for her...but i heard from someone the other day that you cant help who you love and maybe i have this image of a beautiful innocent girl who was the one i wanted to spend my life with..the reality of things are appearing to be different to me though...i also think the crazy rollercoaster ride that we go on is addictive in some ways...obvioulsy not a good way but when thats the ride ive been on for the last 3 years idk how a "normal" relationship will feel