Originally Posted by
bdnb74 
sorry for writing just gibberish last night I guess that is what 12 beer and sleeping pill will do. I don't really have a support system and I don't quite know how to get one.
Sober Recovery IS a support system, and the only one I use (I have friends and family who are supportIVE, but SR is my one and only real means of sobriety support).
But you really do have to want it. I admit to sometimes wanting it more and other times not wanting it all that much, but I try to stay honest with myself about it and keep reading and posting here, which has been INCREDIBLY helpful to me. I am coming up on 100 days sober early next week.
If I were you, I would print out my incoherent posts from last night -- maybe several copies of them -- and stick them up in prominent places. Not to humiliate or punish yourself, but as a stark reminder of the reality and severity of your problem.
We are pulling for you!