I have no idea regarding your last question, but no one being able to know is not the same as not telling anyone. Your doctor for starters. I managed to keep my addiction to alcohol secret both when actively drinking and getting sober, but I did have to tell my doctor, people here, people in AA, people in an outpatient program, eventually I told a few close family members by choice. What I am saying is that you can still manage to keep it secret whilst making sure you get the support you need. To me talking to others has been a vital part of my recovery. If you are looking to avoid anyone at all at the moment though AVRT would be a good thing to look into. Glad you're here x