Originally Posted by
SnowedUnder 
...got more drink and got high. now I've lost spent half my pay check, cant afford to live for the month anyway now so wondering what's the point?
You are right. What's the point...OF DRINKING?
I don't know what to say to inspire you. Just get up and try again. If you anxiety keeps you stuck in the house, fine, if you remain sober. Leaving the house seems to get you in trouble.
Are you engaged in any face to face support?