New Here, New in my own Recovery and New to having a wife in Rehab.
Hello everyone,
I'm 58 and married for 35 years. My last day of drinking was 10.25.11. I had a 40 year history of daily drinking and drug abuse and couldn't stop or control it until I found the fellowship of AA.
We have a son who is married and normal and with two wonderful children, and a daughter who is a 7 years recovering heroin addict. She is in a committed relationship and has an equally wonderful daughter.
My wife is a high functioning who just retired from a long career. She is also a daily drinker, always in the evenings, and always excessively.
Our entire marriage has been centered around alcohol. On our first date my soon to be wife passed out after several hours of pot smoking and drinking.
We both are alcoholics and both enablers, and have been totally absorbed doing this elaborate, destructive, familiar dance.
After another public drunken episode my son and daughter and myself staged an intervention for her and she agreed to rehab. She spent a week in detox and has been in rehab for six days.
I attend AA meetings daily and have been to a few Al Anon meetings since she has gone away.
I am a wreck. She is angry and resentful and in denial. Unraveling this relationship built on Alcohol and codependency is scary and threatening.
My recovery is so new that I fill ill equipped to deal with hers. My daughter, whose program is quite strong, says her sponsor says to treat her like a newbie in the program. So I say things like you don't have to feel like this anymore, or, you're in the right place. But I just get angry silences on the phone or downright hostility. She is very, very angry and resentful.
She can call Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday so I am expecting a call sometime today. And I'm worried sick about it. I've got a bad case of the what if's....
What if she's still angry and resentful? What if she thinks our marriage is beyond repair? What if she wants to leave rehab? What if she's still in denial?
What if she's still cold and uncommunicative? WHAT DO I RESPOND?!
Should I be in contact with the therapists in her rehab? HOW DOES THIS WORK?
Sorry for going on like this in the Newcomer's Forum. Is there a more appropriate forum for a post like this?
Just spinning slowly in the wind here...