I need help...
My name is Elizabeth and Im an alcoholic... I can finally admit this to myself but will still deny I have a problem when confronted by others. I always had a bit of a drinking problem.. but I would only drink socially on weekends.. but I would drink way too much. I just couldnt bring myself to stop. I suffer from severe depression and even worse anxiety and I love the escape alcohol gives me. I just recently lost my insurance and no insurance means no meds and anxiety has taken over my life. So I started self medicating with alcohol to help my nerves. It started with just a drink a few times a week.. then almost every night.. now its every night and I swear I count down the min until 5pm.. b/c in my own mind if I drink after 5 pm its ok... somedays I dont even get that far. I don't drink to get drunk and hardly ever get more than buzzed but I can't make it a day with out at least one drink. I don't even know what to do with myself right now.. I want to want to get help but to be honest.. Im don't feel strong enough to quit drinking yet.. Its my crutch until I can get back on my meds... I feel so pathetic right now.