Originally Posted by
FeelingGreat 
It was slowly progressive with me. Lot's of stopping, starting, trying to control over a period of years. I had very few consequences, my health was holding together, I drank alone, my adult family didn't have a problem with it because they didn't see it. But I knew I was in trouble.
It was a losing battle before I decided to abstain completely.
Feeling Great's post could easily have been written by my RAH. Now that he is
really going to AA meetings, instead of just telling me that he is, he has started bringing home a copy of
The Grapevine, which is AA's monthly magazine. I'd like to share a story I read just this AM:
The A writing this piece is also high-functioning, same story as above. He felt he had no issues b/c he held a job, drank alone, had no DUIs and wife/kids didn't know b/c he concealed it. Then one day while drunk he DID have a car accident, and not a fender bender. He was badly injured himself and killed the other driver. This resulted in a 3-year jail sentence and, needless to say, a permanent and huge change in his life. All in a moment of time.
The point I'd like to make (as others mentioned also above) is that the progressive nature of alcoholism is not going to necessarily be an even grade, where you can figure "well, it took him 10 years to get to this point, so it'll take another 10 before anything really serious might happen." Something like that car accident can happen in just a minute to someone whose life doesn't seem to be "that bad", and all of a sudden the gentle slope of declining functionality becomes a steep and high cliff.
This is something I do bear in mind, as it would be pretty easy for me to stick my head back under the covers and pretend it's not all that bad. If he is not sober, any day could be the day he drives to his model-building club meeting drunk and kills someone. Any day could be the day he decides to have a nip BEFORE going to work or at lunch, and there's an accident and he has alcohol in his blood. I don't say this in the sense that I obsess about it or think I can control it, but solely that I need to be mindful that if he is drinking and I am choosing to stay with him, this can be the future, and I am choosing to be part of it.