I'm sorry for your loss LilyRosemary.
The guys here are right tho - beer promises a fix but it's not - we never solves anything on beer, never deal with anything, never get through anything....it's like spinning our wheel.
Like others have said, it's not pleasant to feel dad or to grieve, but it's a natural and healthy response.
For 30 years or so I ran away from my feelings by drinking because I convinced myself I couldn't handle them. That was a lie.
I didn't grow much or experience much for those 30 years.
I'm sure your mom always wanted what was best for you LR...honour her with your decisions now
D