I'm sorry to hear about your mom, lilyrosemary.
You've been a member here for awhile but I just wanted to remind you we have a Grief and Loss forum that might also be of some help.
Losing a loving family member or friend is difficult and it hurts so bad but drinking will only make things so much worse. Please take care of yourself, reach out to real life friends and family and post here as much as you like.
Here is the link to the Grief and Loss forum in case you weren't aware of it:
Grief and Loss - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information