SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information - View Single Post - Stammers

equus · 12-17-2004, 08:50 AM

My husband is trying to stop drinking but has hit a real problem. To go out in a social setting has been incredibly hard without a drink.

He is trying, his actions speak loud enough for me to see that and this is a genuine problem not just an excuse for drink, he's told me a drink is just a break from fear.

I know throughout his life, from his earliest memories he's fought with different phobias. He deals with it mostly without comment and I think he's become very used to it but sometimes it's had the upper hand completely to the extent of being stuck inside his house for months (before we were together). Whether it's wasps, driving, children spitting out food, crowds, buses, or bees as soon as he beats one another pops up!!

He's got a slight stammer but it was very bad as a child and he struggles to speak in company because he's afraid he won't be able to, when he was at school he says he couldn't speak at all for a couple of years - I think he was very young then. His speech now is fine, I've never seen him do more than sometimes repeat words - it isn't noticable but he's terrified of 'having' to speak. On top of not really being that comfortable outside the house this is making any socialising while sober really hard. He said the alcohol takes it away - that's why he ended up hooked in the first place!

I think the other phobias do bother him but nowhere near as much as the social anxiety which isolates him and humiliates him.

Right now he won't go for help, I can't force him and after a bad experience on AD's he isn't going to go. After all you have to wait in a docs waiting room then you 'have to' speak to him. I hope for the future but at the moment that isn't going to happen.

Is there anyone else out there who's been through this? - especially with speech because I find that hard to understand and I know it's really hurting him. He just stops speaking all together and is so ashamed.

12-17-2004, 08:50 AM	#1 (permalink)
equus Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: uk Posts: 3,055	Stammers - speaking phobias My husband is trying to stop drinking but has hit a real problem. To go out in a social setting has been incredibly hard without a drink. He is trying, his actions speak loud enough for me to see that and this is a genuine problem not just an excuse for drink, he's told me a drink is just a break from fear. I know throughout his life, from his earliest memories he's fought with different phobias. He deals with it mostly without comment and I think he's become very used to it but sometimes it's had the upper hand completely to the extent of being stuck inside his house for months (before we were together). Whether it's wasps, driving, children spitting out food, crowds, buses, or bees as soon as he beats one another pops up!! He's got a slight stammer but it was very bad as a child and he struggles to speak in company because he's afraid he won't be able to, when he was at school he says he couldn't speak at all for a couple of years - I think he was very young then. His speech now is fine, I've never seen him do more than sometimes repeat words - it isn't noticable but he's terrified of 'having' to speak. On top of not really being that comfortable outside the house this is making any socialising while sober really hard. He said the alcohol takes it away - that's why he ended up hooked in the first place! I think the other phobias do bother him but nowhere near as much as the social anxiety which isolates him and humiliates him. Right now he won't go for help, I can't force him and after a bad experience on AD's he isn't going to go. After all you have to wait in a docs waiting room then you 'have to' speak to him. I hope for the future but at the moment that isn't going to happen. Is there anyone else out there who's been through this? - especially with speech because I find that hard to understand and I know it's really hurting him. He just stops speaking all together and is so ashamed.