I'm in your area sort of, a bit west of Fairfax. Grew up there though.
I don't know what to say though, you've touched on a lot of things there. Much of it IS just a matter of perception. A perception I shared when I went to my first meeting at 21-22 years old and held onto until I was in enough despair to consider changing it at 33.
AA was sort of "last house on the block" for me. Sort of "Before I French kiss one of these freight trains ... maybe I better check". I got taken into steps quickly. Good thing too.
I've needed more help than what a group of people could provide, but I couldn't find that help without that group of people.
Now I get to live a life beyond my imagination sitting on a barstool. The ups and downs, dips, dives and hairpin turns.
I remember rolling around Dead shows in the late 80's and early 90's, I've seen cults. Jesus freaks, and was raised in a religion. Wary of it all. Last thing I wanted was to hear about God from a bunch of drunks, whores, thieves, and those "beneath me".
But I did, and I'm lucky I did. I thank them eternally. You see, all my preconceived notions, analysis and keen intellect were wrong. Incorrect. I'm good at taking things apart but not smart enough to put them back together, into the "big picture".
So I love my fellowship, especially those that showed me that Bill and Bob were nothing more than humble servants and not Gods. That AA is not a cult, and the instructions in the big book work. I do them, they do.
Know this, I wish for you freedom from your despair and drunkenness no matter how you get it. If you're into checking out AA a bit more, feel free to drop me a PM.
I'll tell you what I do, what I've done, where I've been, etc... hell I might even invite you over to my folks house in Fairfax and mine in Manassas. If you don't believe what AA has done for me, you can ask my family.
Peace