I guess I have had some unrealistic expectations, though wasn't aware of it at the time. I've also been looking for a father figure, which I guess I didn't understand at the time either. There are also many trust and abandonment issues, coupled with low self-esteem and insecurity, which really bring out my people pleasing skills, and these really prevented me from talking this out with the current or recent sponsor. Self-acceptance is tough for me with all the guilt and shame I've acquired, both through my own actions and that which was given me by my family of origin. Sorting through all this stuff has been tough and for the first time in my life I'm starting to see it. It doesn't make it any easier to deal with or work through. Thanks for your response.