Quick update:
After some really helpful folks (one in particular - shout out Shirlygirly on here I have made immediate steps. I've made an appt. with my phychitrist for first thing in the mornng to come clean with her and plan on going to an AA meeting in the afternoon. I'm scared to death but with the continued support on here I know I will be able to do it.
Don't get me wrong I wasn't planning on waiting until my husband comes home I just know I will have more support when he does. I have hardly any family besides my kiddos and inlaws so him being gone has been extermely tough. I can't wait to support each other and better our future and start a new chapter in our lives. We have five kids 10, 13, 14, 17, 18 and a grandbaby on the way (ugh scary). I need to do this for me first off but for them as much.
Please continue the support and thanks for the support given.