"When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away. From that moment on, I have not had a single compulsion to drink." pp. 417, Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition
Sounds way too simple to be of any use, right?
After sitting in some open meetings at various places and reading some threads, I've made a few observations. First,
most people whom I would consider to have a viable recovery seem to focus on the solution--the new life--rather than the old one. Personally, I don't care to be reminded of my life, my dead life, prior to getting sober. I'll do it when working with another suffering alcoholic, but mostly I like the new me much better--and I want to continue to grow.
Secondly, when I dwell in the fears of the past, I'm blocked from positivity. Self-pity is an old, clammy, insidious colleague that I'd sooner not meet any more. When I recognize it, I have to leave because (for me) while self analysis is helpful in identifying character defects, doing nothing about them merely tosses me back into the cesspool of self.
Third. The posters in here that seem to be most calm and centered seem to all have some sort of spiritual center. Doesn't matter what they're calling it, but they are beyond themselves in a place that allows others' bitter barbs to pass unnoticed. THAT is awesome.
Finally, when I focus on the problem, the problem gets bigger; when I focus on the solution, the solution gets bigger. When this simple statement finally sunk in, I realized that I had work to do--that I needed to stop taking inventory on everyone else's deficiencies that were 'making me sideways' and focus on the things I was doing to get better.
For me, recovery is selfish--and I'm all about me (especially when I'm getting better!). The odd thing is that the better I am at working the spiritual tools you people have given me, the better I become to you. THAT is a miracle in my life--and YOU get the benefits. Cool, huh?