[Bozo]

Ever have one of those days when you were totally free from anger, fear, guilt, panic, anxiety, depression, sense of impending doom or worrying?

They are precious, are they not?

I would guess I feel that way maybe 5 times a year if I am lucky.

And if I am at all like you folks, I have wondered why I can't "capture" that feeling and stay that way every day.

When I was 2 years sober I nearly had a nervous breakdown. I am not sure what happened or triggered it, although I had just gotten into a new relationship.

I was put on Prozac with pretty good results for about 8 years and then I starting feeling extremely low and suicidal.

So I told my doctor and he changed me over to Zoloft, which for the most part has really helped with the obsessive compulsive worrying but not real great for the depression.

I tried Welbutrin 100 mg for a couple of months with very bad results. The main things being extremely irritable and could not sleep.

So currently I am just on Zoloft. I was OK during the summer months but when fall got here I started to get sad. So the doctor said it might be seasonal so he increased me from 50 to 75 Mg a day of the Zoloft.

I am basically toughing it out right now and to be honest I do not feel that great in the depression area. I may go back to the doctors again.

I exercise 3 times a week, diet is shaky, I am 6' and weigh 200 lbs. About 20 lbs. overweight.

I sleep good but seem to have very little ambition and energy to take on any projects. We are putting the Christmas tree up in a few minutes and I feel reluctant to take part in that.

What is wrong with me? Should I try Lexapro?

Or just tough it out and accept this is the way I am supposed to be?

I have been clean and sober 17 years, one day at a time and have many blessings in my life.

I just wished I could feel better mentally, if you get my drift.

Thanks for this forum and the opportunity to share.

Mike