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Originally Posted by Prophet3276 It's a road that requires alot of caution, care and compassion. And that my friends is something that can only be found in a relationship, |
Now that is one of the most interesting viewpoints I have ever read on this forum. And I read everything.
That caution, care and compassion is what addicts go to 12 step groups for. It's found in the group. It's found in families and it's found in friendships. Her recovery doesn't depend on a relationship. As a matter of fact a romantic relationship can complicate a recovery so much that new ones are very much advised against in the first year. Your recovery might depend on you getting a grip on that. If I read you correctly, you're thinking of reviving your relationship (or have already revived it?) with insincere intentions because you think she needs someone to save her. Have you read "Codependent No More" yet? If you martyr yourself in the name of curing her, you are not doing her a favor. You didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it. That is a tough lesson for us to learn sometimes. We want to help. We think we're helping. But in reality we're just playing a control game.
I apologize if I have misinterpreted what you said, but if you are contemplating playing at a relationship with her that you don't want in the name of her recovery, it can only be a cruel awakening for her later. Be real. For both of you.
I'm glad your friend is beginning to help herself. I hope you will keep helping yourself as well.
Hugs,
Smoke