[Live]

Hi, Sarah!

First you need to know you are not alone. There are many of us here, who suffer from depression and other illnesses and addictions. Many of us, indeed most of us have several diagnosis, rarely a single one.

Please take the time to read freely here, especially the power posts at the top. You will find that you are with your own kind and that we can get stronger. We can get better. We can't change everything, but things can change.

Keep coming back. Let us get to know you. Get to know us.

I hated meds. I hated meds. I hated meds. I cannot say that enough.
But, finally with the right cocktail, today I say, THANK God for modern medicine.

I require two different anti-depressants. And have been on many before we came up with just the right cocktail. One keeps me from drowning, the other lets me live and thrive in a way I never imagined.
I also have anxiety problems, and PTSD. Which are those horrible memories.

I want to extend my hand in welcome and say...it gets better.
It takes time. It takes work. It takes willingness to do things we would rather not do.
But the rewards.
Oh, God love the rewards.

Today, all I can think is "what if I never knew" and that would be tragic.

Tasting health, happiness, wellness,....well, that can give you an appetite to grow on to heights impossible to imagine.

I am not saying that there is an easy life. God, I wish. I am lazy.
But, I have tasted something worth working for, worth integrating into my life.
In fact, for the last few days I have been just plain grouchy because I thought I had a road map and was running full out. Too old to jump hurdles, but well enough to run around them. And smack. Brick wall.

Okay. so I am grouchy.
but I learned something.
I learned early that my road map was wrong. I am glad for that and mad at the same time.
tomorrow, I restore and nurture myself.
Then, I work on the new map.
It isn't my map.
I loved the one I thought I had.
But, it doesn't fit reality.
So,
in the words of James Taylor,
I go home by another way.
It felt like a failure.
But I can make it a lesson.
Change courses and make it really happen.
I am rambling. Sorry.

But I am here, not every day, not all the time, because I am busy making a life, but between us all, we are always here.
You are never alone.